The Latest Feedback
Wahaha, a guy named j.s. just wrote me a critical feedback =)
Most of what he mentioned I’ve already heard from someone else, but I found out from his review that Mythias is actually a cliched name. That’s completely new because prior to writing Project M.I.G.H.T. I’ve only heard of the name Mythias like once or twice, and they’re also spelled differently, so yeah, I learn something new!
Regarding the series’s name being corny, I find it just a matter of personal preference.
Oh, I’ve learnt something awesome about dialogue writing from his review, which is to role-play when in doubt of certain dialogues. I think I do role-play a little, but it’s done very vaguely and I do it all in my head. So I think if I were to take the role-playing more seriously, I’ll be able to come up with even stronger and more natural dialogues.
But reading his review makes me feel irritated about being a Singaporean again, haha, because I agree with him that most Singaporean writers have horrific phrasing and grammar. This is mostly due to the diversity of our culture and races I guess. A typical Singaporean can speak at least two languages, while most of us can speak three if you include dialects. So it’s very, very easy to get mixed up and it’s definitely going to be one of my biggest obstacles to overcome as a writer.
Damn you Singlish! =X
Oh and about the plot line, I’ve actually received the same comment from HHHL. But the problem is that I’ve never watched Ghost in the Shell or NGE (I’m going to assume this means Neon Genesis Evangelion) before. NEVER. But yeah, I do feel that the plot could be better when it comes to predictability. Specimen One was really quite predictable at many parts and it just brings down the whole story.
Alright, good stuff, so thank you – if you’re reading - Mr. J.S. for this awesome review.
I’ll update about Specimen Two by the end of this week.
- Derick
Chapter Outline Done
Actually it’s been done for quite a few days already but I’ve been too busy with my school submissions to post an update.
Brain-storming has been rather difficult too with this headache irritating me for the past two days. I haven’t been able to get any decent ideas out yet, but I’ve noted down several alterations to the plot that will improve the story. And I realize that I have yet to find a message for this story.
In Specimen One, the message was that bad memories are just what they are – bad memories. We can choose to either let them hinder our lives or just forget them.
I think it was meaningful because many times I’ve seen friends who let bad memories get in their way of doing things, which really wasn’t productive and helpful at all. So hopefully I can come up with something meaningful for Specimen Two as well.
Another thing I need to share here is that I’m going to try and start writing short-stories. Personally I’ve tried writing shorts but they always turn out horrible. I always end up doing too much character development or the plot gets too complicated. Both of which makes the story too long. And that was why I stopped writing shorts but I’ve seen that almost all published authors have written shorts before – good ones – so I think it’s quite necessary that I start learning how to write one.
Alright, this headache is really pissing me off and I can barely think clearly enough to write anything longer or coherent.
That’s all for this post.
- Derick
Navigation and Publicity
I’m like halfway through a school assignment right now – I have to write a screenplay – and having written a number of stories, I know I need to relax if I’m tired when I’m doing something that involves more on creativity than academics. So here I am, writing an update about some, more-administrative issues of the Project M.I.G.H.T series.
Navigation
I noticed that it’s quite difficult to for new readers to navigate to Specimen One’s story if they begin from my blog itself (www.derickwjtan.wordpress.com). Other readers who come from perhaps another forum or friendster, can easily access Specimen One’s index page because I’ll always a provide a link in my bulletin or thread. So over this weekend I’m going to create a new page that directly links to Specimen One’s index, along with some other relevant information.
Right now, the problem is that you have to navigate through the numerous categories I have, and search for the Index post which if you were to try can be quite confusing, especially to someone new. So yeah, I’ll basically make this process into a simple “Click here and tada!” matter, so that it’ll be easier for new readers to get to Specimen One.
edit: Alright, I’ve created a new Page that contains the series’s blurb as well as links to the Index of each story in the series. Oh and I’ve updated the Blurb as well, to make it sound more natural and add a few extra lines to deepen the plot a little and make it more interesting.
Publicity
I’m still stubborn about not posting a banner on Ice-Angel’s blog, so right now I’m looking at various other methods of spreading Specimen One. Right now I visit the Books section of Stomp’s forum (http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=21) from time to time, and I have a link to Specimen One in my signature but it’s not really helping much, so I’m going to try exploring the entire forum.
If you’ve added me on Friendster then you should know I post up a new bulletin every now and then, or actually I post whenever I see that my bulletin is not on the front page anymore.
Banners are probably not going to happen anytime soon. The artist I mentioned wasn’t particularly interested in the story. She did ask for me to get her a summary though, but summaries are the bane of my existence, so I’ll try to work things out but I doubt anything much will happen any time soon.
But I have made plans for Specimen Two which should help with spreading Specimen One and in turn the whole series. This was what I wrote in other post regarding the matter:
“Firstly, I’m going to be blunt here, I need more readers to get more feedbacks. The forum that I intend to post Specimen Two in (alongside my blog) has a fan-fiction section that receives thousands of views per day. A new story can easily gather up to a 100 views in a single day and 15,000+ over a few months if the story is good. And that makes it a very effective means of sharing my story with as many people as possible.”
So Specimen Two is going to be a risk-taker – a calculated one. Should I fail with Specimen Two (meaning the story sucks) then I would have failed to entertain as well as get more viewers for the Project M.I.G.H.T series. But should I happen to be successful and the members at the forum I’m posting in respond well to my story, I would have achieved three different things:
1. Spread the series to more readers and hopefully receive more feedback in return.
2. Entertained more people with my writing.
3. Shared my idols with you guys, which in other words helped my idols in garnering more fans.
Chances are most of you already know about the idols I’m referring to, but right now I’m not ready to share who they are yet – along with details of the forum. I’m still worried that I might be making a huge mistake turning Specimen Two into a fan-fiction, even though it’s fun and can potentially benefit the series in a lot of ways. So right now I’m just going to focus on Draft Two of Specimen Two and depending on how well the Fixed Plot (That’s what I’m going to call it) turns out to be, I’ll decide again whether I’m going to go through with it.
And that’s all for this post.
- Derick
Glossary – Specimen One: Mythias – Part 2/2
(This list will be updated when necessary)
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
International Criminal Police Organization (Interpol)
- An organization facilitating international police cooperation
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Tranquilizer
- A drug that has a sedative or calming effect without inducing sleep.
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Vintner
- A person who makes wine.
Chapter 34
M16 rifle
- M16 is the U.S. military designation for a family of rifles derived from the ArmaLite AR-15 and further developed by Colt starting in the mid-20th century
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Special Weapons And Tactics (SWAT)
- Elite tactical units in American police departments.
Special Assault Team (SAT)
- The Japanese equivalent of SWAT.
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Boeing CH-47 Chinook
- A versatile, twin-engine, tandem rotor heavy-lift helicopter.
NATO Phonetic Alphabet (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta… …)
- The international radiotelephony spelling alphabet, used mostly for spelling alphabet but in this case used to identify separate SWAT teams.
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Epilogue
Glossary – Specimen One: Mythias – Part 1/2
(This list will be updated when necessary)
Prologue
Chapter 1
Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)
- The Central Intelligence Agency is a civilian intelligence agency of the United States government. Its primary function is collecting and analyzing information about foreign governments, corporations, and persons in order to advise public policymakers.
Joint Chiefs ~ Joint Chiefs of Staff
- The Joint Chiefs of Staff is a group of military leaders in the United States armed forces who advise the civilian government of the United States. The JCS is defined by statute and consists of a Chairman and Vice Chairman appointed by the President, and the Chiefs of service from each of the four major branches of the military.
Command-in-Chief
- The commander of a nation’s military forces or significant element of those forces. Article II of the Constitution establishes the President as commander-in-chief of the armed forces.
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
- The Federal Bureau of Investigation is the primary investigative arm of the United States Department of Justice, serving as both a federal criminal investigative body and a domestic intelligence agency.
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
“small black device that made a buzzing noise”
- This is basically a Bug Detector used to scan the surrounding area for any hidden surveillance equipments
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Five-Seven
- A semi-automatic pistol manufactured by Fabrique Nationale de Herstal. This pistol boasts larger caliber bullets than conventional pistols, allowing the Five-Sevens to pierce bullet-proof vests at limited range.
Singapore Assault Rifle – 21st Century (SAR-21)
- A bullpup assault rifle designed and manufactured in Singapore.
AK-47
- An assault rifle developed in the Soviet Union by Mikhail Kalashnikov.
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Intravenous Packs (IV Packs)
- A package consisting the necessary equipments to give liquid substance directly through a vein.
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Completely Forgotten
Curious to know what I’ve completely forgotten?
Chances are you already know.
Chances are it’s the first thing you notice.
So you want to know what is it right?
I’ll tell you right now.
The freaking Glossary.
Bloody hell, I completely forgot about the glossary and I’m not even going to lie to you by saying “Oh, the glossary is still WIP because I announced it so late”. It completely slipped my mind until today. And of course, now that I realized it I’ll begin work on it as soon as possible.
It’s the last day of 2008 today and tradition demands that I spend most of today reflecting on the year and coming up with my 2009 resolutions.
Once that’s done I’ll begin work on the Glossary which shouldn’t take too long. I’ll add in what ever information that I feel will be beneficial, and if I receive e-mails or comments from you guys about certain words or phrases, I’ll simply add it into the Glossary. So it’s basically something that will forever be Work-In-Progress, which is another benefit of publishing online aside from it being completely free.
Though the downside is that I virtually have no publicity…
HHHL got popular because my friend, Ice-Angel, helped me place a banner in her blog – Thank you so much, Esther! And she said she wouldn’t mind doing it again for me but it’s like, I don’t really want to impose on her again. The phrase in Chinese would be “Bu hao yi si” which I can’t really translate into English… Basically I don’t want to trouble her and it kinda feels like I’m being friends with her just because she’s famous if I did, you know?
So yeah, I’ll hold back on throwing a banner in her blog for now and I’ll try to find alternate sources for publicity. Currently there are no banners because I’m quite horrible with photoshop, as you all have seen the abomination I created for HHHL. I sincerely thank all of you who placed HHHL’s banner in your blog, even though many felt it was, well, plain unsightly. You are all heroes who deserve a medal.
*salute*
I’ve approached a friend in school and asked if she would be willing to do some character design for me, and she said she would consider it after reading Specimen One. The problem is that I don’t have her contact information, so I’ll have to wait until next week – which is when my school reopens – before I can have her take a look at it. I’m keeping my fingers crossed though because she is one hell of an artist. Having her draw the characters of Project M.I.G.H.T would be both an honor and a privilege.
She’s that good.
- Derick
2:27am
I’m finally done editing in every single chapters including ‘Disclaimers and Copyrights’, ‘Forewords’ and the bloody ‘Index’ page. I had to create like more than 40 links for that page, but it’s well worth the effort because an index page will make life a lot easier for you guys.
Within the next couple of days, or rather over the next couple of days, I’ll add a ‘next chapter’ link at the end of each chapters. Right now you have to go back to the index page every time you finish a chapter, so it might be troublesome for some lazy people (Just me actually) to go back and forth.
Alright, I’m going to rest now. Merry Christmas to everyone and I hope you’ll enjoy the rewrite of HHHL; Specimen One: Mythias.
- Derick
Index
Specimen One: Mythias
Disclaimer and Copyrights
Forewords
- – -
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
- – -
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
- – -
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
- – -
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
- – -
- – -
Feedbacks and Comments
Please post your feedbacks and comments in this post. If you’re unwilling to write anything long, at the very least let me know whether you’ve enjoyed the story with something simple such as, “I like the story” or “It was bad, din finish it”. Of course it’d be better if you could write something longer and more constructive.
A full review would still be the best though =)
Added a poll since most people don’t have the time to write me a short comment:
Oh and if you have questions that you would like me to answer in your feedback, please include your e-mail address.
Thanks!
Epilogue
Saki watched with empty eyes as men in black suits and women in either black dresses or kimonos walked past her. All of them held their heads low and carried an expressionless look. The hall was packed full but all she could hear was silent murmurs.
The hall where the kidnapping took place exactly a year ago.
A tall, blonde-haired man looked at Saki and nodded making her start thinking about Project M.I.G.H.T once more. She had her father translate the recording because she had to know what made Mythias so afraid to commit into a relationship with her.
It took her a whole week to process everything her father told her.
And even today she still doubted what she heard.
Four individuals born with ‘supernatural’ powers created to keep peace in the world, so they said. Shutdown because of what her father described as ultimately ethical reasons. And the Project was never made known to the public.
The boy she knew for so many months as Scott, whose real name she now knew as Mythias, was the very first in the Project. Hence he was known as The First, but also because of the exceeding potential he had in the form of his abilities. He possessed all the abilities that the subsequent three ‘specimens’ each had. And they would have created more of Mythias if his body wasn’t so unstable.
The older he became the more abilities he started losing and the more unstable his health became. One day he could be as fit as her, but the next he could be as frail as her great grandfather. He could have leukaemia today and have it disappear a week later. He could remember an entire language at one moment and then forget it entirely the next.
“That’s why his Japanese never seem to get better,” Saki thought to herself, tugging on the ribbon of her black dress. “And that’s why he’s over a hundred years old, but still looks so young…”
The four of them were released once the Project was shutdown, but they were of course taken care by the government. Her father didn’t know what became of any of them. He only knew that Mythias managed to adapt into their society after meeting him.
“Mer-thy-yas…” she practiced again even after so long, smiling a little.
It was a unique name.
“What’s wrong?” her father asked, standing next to her.
Saki thought of shaking her head, but she knew her expression would give her away immediately.
“Can we go?” she asked very softly. “I can’t stay here any longer…”
Her father nodded without a second thought, understanding fully how his daughter felt. They made their way out of the hall quietly before Saki hurried off to his car. She felt a load of burden lift off her shoulders after they left through the school gates.
Her school reminded her too much about the kidnappings that now almost everyone who had a television knew too well. The constant broadcasting of the event and situation gave her many sleepless nights. She and her friends could have been one of those charred beyond recognition bodies from the very first wave if Mythias hadn’t come and rescued them all.
The whole thing was very sad but repulsive as well.
Saki rolled down the window when she felt a little queasy and made her father stop when she saw where they were. He pulled over at the side of the street and watched her got out.
“You go home first, father,” she told him. “I’m just going to take a stroll before I go back.”
Realizing where they were, Kenzo nodded and told her not to stay out too late before driving off.
Saki turned and began walking, taking out her phone when there was a message from Maimi. Her friend was asking why she left the memorial so soon. She quickly text back to her friend as she went down the steps before she switched off her phone and tucked it away in her bag.
The flowing sound of water from the fountain was soothing and the cool water almost felt relaxing when she dipped her fingers into it. There were three children playing on the stage while their grandparents sat on one of the benches. She went over to an empty bench and sat down
“Star Landing Circle.” Saki translated the sign where the name of this place was written.
Her English had improved tremendously over the past year. Needless to say her motivation to learn it came from Mythias of course, even though it was no longer necessary. It simply felt right to Saki, to learn a language that he spoke all the time. Plus it helped her communicate with his daughter when she wanted to learn more about Mythias’s past.
His happier past of course.
Saki only wished that she could have known him sooner.
She shifted aside when someone sat down next to her and didn’t bother to give him even a smile before she looked away again. The man set his cane down on his right and tiredly lay back before he stretched his arms high above his head with a yawn.
Several weeks after the explosion in Mythias’s home, Saki was contacted by one of the remaining three specimens. He helped explain about the Project and convinced her that it was real when he showed her his ability.
All her doubts vanished the second he showed her.
Saki had no qualms with him but seeing him reminded her so much about Mythias, even though she knew so little about Mythias true self. The most distinctive similarities they had was that sleek, coolness which coated every single action or gesture that they make. And that confident aura and attitude, balanced with enough humility to just place them right before the line that crosses into arrogance.
Seeing this specimen with his over pampered girlfriend made her heart ache and long too much about how happy she and Mythias could be if they were together.
“Why the sad face?” Mythias asked, sweeping his silver-white fringe aside. “I can dye my hair to black again if you don’t like it you know?”
Saki whipped around so fast that her necklace flew and smack her on the chin. But she barely noticed it at all the moment she saw him sitting next to her. He could tell that she was shocked – pleasantly shocked – but still, for some reason, she forced herself to remain calm and composed.
She turned back to look at the stage as she laid back against the bench looking indifferent.
“I thought you said it was dangerous to show yourself in public so soon?” she asked.
Mythias remembered the language again just a few months after he blew up his home. And the thought of that day when he blew up his home – only to destroy all evidence of his existence of course – brought back many scary memories. Lucia, for one, refused to speak to him for an entire week because all of her belongings – mainly clothes and bags really – had to be burnt. And he was quite surprised that day about how emotional Christopher was, behaving as though they would never see each other again.
The man was only losing his wine cellar.
“Whoever was trying to revive the Project has succeeded.” Saki watched as he crossed his legs and took a deep breath with his eyes closed gently – it was so perfectly refined and she wished she had a camera to capture his pose. “But that person has gone into hiding and if that person is who I believe to be, then ultimately I will lose this game of patience.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I have you waiting for me.”
He opened his eyes and looked at her, locking her eyes in his dreamy gaze.
“You said you were afraid of getting me involved in this.” Saki mentally smacked herself out of his gaze. “What happens if they come after me instead to hurt you?”
She watched as he placed his arm around her and pulled her closer, slowly guiding her to lay her head on him. Saki closed her eyes and relaxed as he ran his fingers through her hair. His heart thumped in a constant, slow rhythm that calmed her further as she waited for an answer. But all he did was kept silent and hugged her tighter.
And it was then when she felt his answer.
Laying on his chest and just being in his presence, being so near to him, made her felt so safe like nothing in the world could ever hurt her. It was the best answer that he could ever give her and the best answer she could ever ask for.
And so it was there, on that bench in Star Landing Circle, where they sat for the rest of the afternoon. Silently without any words spoken, just enjoying being together and peacefully in love. Oblivious of all that is happening around them, caring only to savour this moment and look forward to the future that they’ll share with each other.
“Found you at last,” said a man with a scar across his left cheek, watching them from afar with a sick grin.
He lined the crosshair of his rifle to the back of Mythias’s head. The only specimen that stood in his way The First. It was a problem he foresaw the moment he understood the vast potentials Mythias had. And it was a problem he had a solution made specifically for, grazing the chamber that held a bullet which contained a virus designed solely to kill the first specimen.
“Goodbye, my son,” he whispered.
Then he pulled the trigger.
